One Person – One Universe. We all are different, and we all are unique. Naturally, we seem to be attracted to certain types of people, but we often attract people that are just not our type. They keep coming into our lives, and we just don’t understand why.

Have you ever been in a situation where you meet people with whom you connected easily, the conversation is flowing effortlessly, and you are just enjoying their company? Oppositely, have you ever been in a situation where you try to have a conversation with another person, but you really have no desire or interest in continuing that conversation, and you just look for a way to politely get out of there? Most of us have experienced both. I certainly had plenty of awkward, forced interactions where I had to pretend to enjoy my time speaking with people I just simply didn’t connect with.

I’ve dealt with thousands of people, and I figured out how to attract only people I like, build meaningful friendships with people I want to be around and only attract the best customers for my businesses. At the same time, friends and customers that are not a good fit do not even approach me and fade away on their own, naturally.

The concept is so simple and primitive, you may have a smirk on your face, or you might even laugh when I finally tell you what it is.

Before I tell you what my secret is, let me ask you a question: Are you the same person, I mean “real you” when you are with your family vs. when you are with your good friends vs. when you are at work with your clients or with your boss? Take a moment and think about it? We have different personalities, and we adjust ourselves depending on who we interact with. Would you agree?

We often pretend to be who we are not; we are afraid to open up our souls because we fear that other people may take advantage of us or we fear that we may not be “as perfect as we are trying to make people think of us.” There could be thousands of reasons why we learned to have multiple personalities and perhaps it is one of the greatest skills; maybe it is our built-in defense mechanism that is trying to keep us alive and striving. I feel that having multiple personalities is like a double-edged sword. It can help us, and it may hurt us depending on how you use it. As for me, I feel that it hurt me more than it ever helped me. I’ll be honest with you, and I’ll tell you why it almost ruined my life.

The path to misery:

A while ago when I was just building my insurance agency, I was desperately trying to attract any and every client I could. I was trying to help each and every client, whether they are a good fit for our agency or not. As a result, my closing ratios were terrible, I had many clients that I didn’t enjoy doing business with, many of them were not the right fit for us, and we were not the best fit for them. I didn’t enjoy my work, I wasn’t attracting the clients that would be the best fit for our agency and our products we were offering, and I was miserable to the point that I was considering switching a career. I was looking for a solution, tried different things, but nothing seemed to work. I was dealing with clients that were always late with their payments, took all my time because they had issues with everything, they were rude, overly demanding, and had zero respect for me. I was so depressed at my job that I no longer cared for it. I no longer bothered to do my job and to service customers that didn’t care about me and my services. That’s when everything turned around, and I’ll tell you exactly what I did in just a moment.

Today, I really enjoy my work and helping my clients. I attract the right type of clients; I attract people that I like and I make meaningful friendships.

I will tell you my secret, and I hope it will work for you. It worked for me, and I am extremely happy today because of it.

Here is what I did first:

Here is what I did: I took some time off from work, from Facebook, from friends and even family, and I spent some time with myself. I’ll tell you this: it’s been a very long time I’ve been neglecting the most important person in my life – that person is myself. During the time I spent with myself, I did a lot of thinking. I was really searching for answers to the following questions: “What do I want and what I do not want in my life and in my businesses?”; “Who I want in my life and who doesn’t bring any joy to my life?”; “Who are my best customers and what types of customers are the worst fit for my businesses?” What I realized was that it was very difficult to answer those questions. They seem to be simple questions, but apparently, I had no clarity in what I wanted and what I didn’t want. It took some time, but I was getting more and more clear on what I want.

Once I had the clarity, I instantly cut relationships with toxic people. Even some “friends” that I always considered my good and long-term friends were no longer the friends that brought any joy to my life, neither do they care to receive anything from me, and I was just so blind believing that just because we were good for each other a decade ago, we are still good for each other today. People change. I also cut the clients that were not a good fit for our business. Trust me; it is the right thing for both parties. I say “No” to all clients that are not the right fit because I know exactly whom our services will be beneficial for and who would be dis-serviced by doing business with us. Today, we adjusted our advertising, marketing, and communication efforts to attract the clients that can actually benefit from doing business with us.

My secret to attracting right people into my life

So, my secret is very simple: I know what I want and what I don’t want. I am open and direct about what I want and what I don’t want. I opened my soul and did my best to keep it open, and it helps me naturally to attract what/who I want in my life, and I naturally deter the things and people that don’t sync with me. BE YOURSELF. That’s it. That’s the secret. At least it’s working for me.

Don’t be afraid to lose someone/something because of who you really are. If you lose them, they were the unwanted weight that was pulling you down anyway. Unload your unwanted weight so that you may finally have some room for people and things that will make your life a lot more fulfilling.

This was my experience, and it helped me personally. I hope this will help you too.